Quotations by Ambrose Bierce

REPENTANCE: The faithful attendant and follower of Punishment. It is usually manifest in a degree of reformation that is not inconsistent with continuity of sin.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · REPENTANCE

GOOD: Sensible, madam, to the worth of this present writer. Alive, sir, to the advantages of letting him alone.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · GOOD

MOUSQUETAIRE: A long glove covering a part of the arm. Worn in New Jersey. But "mousquetaire" is a mighty poor way to spell muskeeter.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · MOUSQUETAIRE

IMBECILITY: A kind of divine inspiration, or sacred fire affecting censorious critics of this dictionary.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · IMBECILITY

REALISM: The art of depicting nature as it is seen by toads. The charm suffusing a landscape painted by a mole, or a story written by a measuring-worm.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · REALISM

LAST: A shoemaker's implement, named by a frowning Providence as opportunity to the maker of puns.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · LAST

ECONOMY: Purchasing the barrel of whiskey that you do not need for the price of the cow that you cannot afford.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · ECONOMY

RENOWN: A degree of distinction between notoriety and fame—a little more supportable than the one and a little more intolerable than the other. Sometimes it is conferred by an unfriendly and inconsiderate hand.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · RENOWN

BAIT: A preparation that renders the hook more palatable. The best kind is beauty.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · BAIT

ABSTAINER: A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure. A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention, and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · ABSTAINER

MANES: The immortal parts of dead Greeks and Romans. They were in a state of dull discomfort until the bodies from which they had exhaled were buried and burned; and they seem not to have been particularly happy afterward.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · MANES

BAAL: An old deity formerly much worshiped under various names. As Baal he was popular with the Phoenicians; as Belus or Bel he had the honor to be served by the priest Berosus, who wrote the famous account of the Deluge; as Babel he had a tower partly erected to his glory on the Plain of Shinar. From Babel comes our English word "babble." Under whatever name worshiped, Baal is the Sun-god. As Beelzebub he is the god of flies, which are begotten of the sun's rays on the stagnant water. In Physicia Baal is still worshiped as Bolus, and as Belly he is adored and served with abundant sacrifice by the priests of Guttledom.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · BAAL

MULTITUDE: A crowd; the source of political wisdom and virtue. In a republic, the object of the statesman's adoration. "In a multitude of counsellors there is wisdom," saith the proverb. If many men of equal individual wisdom are wiser than any one of them, it must be that they acquire the excess of wisdom by the mere act of getting together. Whence comes it? Obviously from nowhere—as well say that a range of mountains is higher than the single mountains composing it. A multitude is as wise as its wisest member if it obey him; if not, it is no wiser than its most foolish.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · MULTITUDE

HONORABLE: Afflicted with an impediment in one's reach. In legislative bodies it is customary to mention all members as honorable; as, "the honorable gentleman is a scurvy cur."

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · HONORABLE

CABBAGE: A familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · CABBAGE

CANNON: An instrument employed in the rectification of national boundaries.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · CANNON

PHILOSOPHY: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · PHILOSOPHY

ACQUAINTANCE: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to. A degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate when he is rich or famous.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · ACQUAINTANCE

IMPUNITY: Wealth.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · IMPUNITY

DENTIST: A prestidigitator who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coins out of your pocket.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · DENTIST

ADAMANT: A mineral frequently found beneath a corset. Soluble in solicitate of gold.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · ADAMANT

POETRY: A form of expression peculiar to the Land beyond the Magazines.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · POETRY

MINE: Belonging to me if I can hold or seize it.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · MINE

PHOTOGRAPH: A picture painted by the sun without instruction in art. It is a little better than the work of an Apache, but not quite so good as that of a Cheyenne.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · PHOTOGRAPH