Quotations by Ambrose Bierce

REDEMPTION: Deliverance of sinners from the penalty of their sin, through their murder of the deity against whom they sinned. The doctrine of Redemption is the fundamental mystery of our holy religion, and whoso believeth in it shall not perish, but have everlasting life in which to try to understand it.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · REDEMPTION

ACCORDION: An instrument in harmony with the sentiments of an assassin.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · ACCORDION

ACCOMPLICE: One associated with another in a crime, having guilty knowledge and complicity, as an attorney who defends a criminal, knowing him guilty. This view of the attorney's position in the matter has not hitherto commanded the assent of attorneys, no one having offered them a fee for assenting.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · ACCOMPLICE

ACCOUNTABILITY: The mother of caution.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · ACCOUNTABILITY

HATCHET: A young axe, known among Indians as a Thomashawk.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · HATCHET

FICKLENESS: The iterated satiety of an enterprising affection.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · FICKLENESS

PRESBYTERIAN: One who holds the conviction that the government authorities of the Church should be called presbyters.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · PRESBYTERIAN

MAGPIE: A bird whose thievish disposition suggested to someone that it might be taught to talk.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · MAGPIE

KING: A male person commonly known in America as a "crowned head," although he never wears a crown and has usually no head to speak of.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · KING

CUNNING: The faculty that distinguishes a weak animal or person from a strong one. It brings its possessor much mental satisfaction and great material adversity. An Italian proverb says: "The furrier gets the skins of more foxes than asses."

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · CUNNING

FAITH: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · FAITH

HOURI: A comely female inhabiting the Mohammedan Paradise to make things cheery for the good Mussulman, whose belief in her existence marks a noble discontent with his earthly spouse, whom he denies a soul. By that good lady the Houris are said to be held in deficient esteem.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · HOURI

LAWFUL: Compatible with the will of a judge having jurisdiction.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · LAWFUL

NON-COMBATANT: A dead Quaker.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · NON-COMBATANT

OBSERVATORY: A place where astronomers conjecture away the guesses of their predecessors.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · OBSERVATORY

RASH: Insensible to the value of our advice.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · RASH

MALTHUSIAN: Pertaining to Malthus and his doctrines. Malthus believed in artificially limiting population, but found that it could not be done by talking. One of the most practical exponents of the Malthusian idea was Herod of Judea, though all the famous soldiers have been of the same way of thinking.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · MALTHUSIAN

ADORE: To venerate expectantly.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · ADORE

BACKBITE: To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · BACKBITE

COMMONWEALTH: An administrative entity operated by an incalculable multitude of political parasites, logically active but fortuitously efficient.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · COMMONWEALTH

PATIENCE: A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · PATIENCE

RECOUNT: In American politics, another throw of the dice, accorded to the player against whom they are loaded.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · RECOUNT

AFRICAN: A nigger that votes our way.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · AFRICAN

LOVE: A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the influences under which he incurred the disorder. This disease, like caries and many other ailments, is prevalent only among civilized races living under artificial conditions; barbarous nations breathing pure air and eating simple food enjoy immunity from its ravages. It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the physician than to the patient.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · LOVE