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Quotations by Ambrose Bierce

787 sayings with source references.

REPROBATION: In theology, the state of a luckless mortal prenatally damned. The doctrine of reprobation was taught by Calvin, whose joy in it was somewhat marred by the sad sincerity of his conviction that although some are foredoomed to perdition, others are predestined to salvation.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · REPROBATION

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HUMORIST: A plague that would have softened down the hoar austerity of Pharaoh's heart and persuaded him to dismiss Israel with his best wishes, cat-quick.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · HUMORIST

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HURRICANE: An atmospheric demonstration once very common but now generally abandoned for the tornado and cyclone. The hurricane is still in popular use in the West Indies and is preferred by certain old-fashioned sea-captains. It is also used in the construction of the upper decks of steamboats, but generally speaking, the hurricane's usefulness has outlasted it.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · HURRICANE

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LETTUCE: An herb of the genus Lactuca, "Wherewith," says that pious gastronome, Hengist Pelly, "God has been pleased to reward the good and punish the wicked. For by his inner light the righteous man has discerned a manner of compounding for it a dressing to the appetency whereof a multitude of gustible condiments conspire, being reconciled and ameliorated with profusion of oil, the entire comestible making glad the heart of the godly and causing his face to shine. But the person of spiritual unworth is successfully tempted to the Adversary to eat of lettuce with destitution of oil, mustard, egg, salt and garlic, and with a rascal bath of vinegar polluted with sugar. Wherefore the person of spiritual unworth suffers an intestinal pang of strange complexity and raises the song."

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · LETTUCE

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POPULIST: A fossil patriot of the early agricultural period, found in the old red soapstone underlying Kansas; characterized by an uncommon spread of ear, which some naturalists contend gave him the power of flight, though Professors Morse and Whitney, pursuing independent lines of thought, have ingeniously pointed out that had he possessed it he would have gone elsewhere. In the picturesque speech of his period, some fragments of which have come down to us, he was known as "The Matter with Kansas."

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · POPULIST

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PERFECTION: An imaginary state of quality distinguished from the actual by an element known as excellence; an attribute of the critic.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · PERFECTION

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DRAGOON: A soldier who combines dash and steadiness in so equal measure that he makes his advances on foot and his retreats on horseback.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · DRAGOON

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MISCREANT: A person of the highest degree of unworth. Etymologically, the word means unbeliever, and its present signification may be regarded as theology's noblest contribution to the development of our language.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · MISCREANT

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INDIGESTION: A disease which the patient and his friends frequently mistake for deep religious conviction and concern for the salvation of mankind. As the simple Red Man of the western wild put it, with, it must be confessed, a certain force: "Plenty well, no pray; big bellyache, heap God."

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · INDIGESTION

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