Quotations by Ambrose Bierce

REACH: The radius of action of the human hand. The area within which it is possible (and customary) to gratify directly the propensity to provide.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · REACH

CHILDHOOD: The period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly of youth—two removes from the sin of manhood and three from the remorse of age.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · CHILDHOOD

MEDICINE: A stone flung down the Bowery to kill a dog in Broadway.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · MEDICINE

MALEFACTOR: The chief factor in the progress of the human race.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · MALEFACTOR

REPORTER: A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a tempest of words.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · REPORTER

LICKSPITTLE: A useful functionary, not infrequently found editing a newspaper. In his character of editor he is closely allied to the blackmailer by the tie of occasional identity; for in truth the lickspittle is only the blackmailer under another aspect, although the latter is frequently found as an independent species. Lickspittling is more detestable than blackmailing, precisely as the business of a confidence man is more detestable than that of a highway robber; and the parallel maintains itself throughout, for whereas few robbers will cheat, every sneak will plunder if he dare.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · LICKSPITTLE

ENVELOPE: The coffin of a document; the scabbard of a bill; the husk of a remittance; the bed-gown of a love-letter.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · ENVELOPE

MISDEMEANOR: An infraction of the law having less dignity than a felony and constituting no claim to admittance into the best criminal society.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · MISDEMEANOR

ILLUMINATI: A sect of Spanish heretics of the latter part of the sixteenth century; so called because they were light weights— cunctationes illuminati.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · ILLUMINATI

INTERPRETER: One who enables two persons of different languages to understand each other by repeating to each what it would have been to the interpreter's advantage for the other to have said.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · INTERPRETER

RESPLENDENT: Like a simple American citizen beduking himself in his lodge, or affirming his consequence in the Scheme of Things as an elemental unit of a parade.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · RESPLENDENT

ARCHITECT: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · ARCHITECT

CAMEL: A quadruped (the Splaypes humpidorsus) of great value to the show business. There are two kinds of camels—the camel proper and the camel improper. It is the latter that is always exhibited.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · CAMEL

EJECTION: An approved remedy for the disease of garrulity. It is also much used in cases of extreme poverty.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · EJECTION

OPPORTUNITY: A favorable occasion for grasping a disappointment.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · OPPORTUNITY

ABSCOND: To "move in a mysterious way," commonly with the property of another.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · ABSCOND

FEMALE: One of the opposing, or unfair, sex.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · FEMALE

HADES: The lower world; the residence of departed spirits; the place where the dead live.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · HADES

DISCRIMINATE: To note the particulars in which one person or thing is, if possible, more objectionable than another.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · DISCRIMINATE

PILLORY: A mechanical device for inflicting personal distinction —prototype of the modern newspaper conducted by persons of austere virtues and blameless lives.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · PILLORY

CONSOLATION: The knowledge that a better man is more unfortunate than yourself.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · CONSOLATION

ALONE: In bad company.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · ALONE

DEBAUCHEE: One who has so earnestly pursued pleasure that he has had the misfortune to overtake it.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · DEBAUCHEE

POLYGAMY: A house of atonement, or expiatory chapel, fitted with several stools of repentance, as distinguished from monogamy, which has but one.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · POLYGAMY