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Quotations by Ambrose Bierce

755 sayings with source references.

ABASEMENT: A decent and customary mental attitude in the presence of wealth or power. Peculiarly appropriate in an employee when addressing an employer.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · ABASEMENT

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EVANGELIST: A bearer of good tidings, particularly (in a religious sense) such as assure us of our own salvation and the damnation of our neighbors.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · EVANGELIST

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DAWN: The time when men of reason go to bed. Certain old men prefer to rise at about that time, taking a cold bath and a long walk with an empty stomach, and otherwise mortifying the flesh. They then point with pride to these practices as the cause of their sturdy health and ripe years; the truth being that they are hearty and old, not because of their habits, but in spite of them. The reason we find only robust persons doing this thing is that it has killed all the others who have tried it.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · DAWN

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PROJECTILE: The final arbiter in international disputes. Formerly these disputes were settled by physical contact of the disputants, with such simple arguments as the rudimentary logic of the times could supply—the sword, the spear, and so forth. With the growth of prudence in military affairs the projectile came more and more into favor, and is now held in high esteem by the most courageous. Its capital defect is that it requires personal attendance at the point of propulsion.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · PROJECTILE

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INFRALAPSARIAN: One who ventures to believe that Adam need not have sinned unless he had a mind to—in opposition to the Supralapsarians, who hold that that luckless person's fall was decreed from the beginning. Infralapsarians are sometimes called Sublapsarians without material effect upon the importance and lucidity of their views about Adam.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · INFRALAPSARIAN

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MAGDALENE: An inhabitant of Magdala. Popularly, a woman found out. This definition of the word has the authority of ignorance, Mary of Magdala being another person than the penitent woman mentioned by St. Luke. It has also the official sanction of the governments of Great Britain and the United States. In England the word is pronounced Maudlin, whence maudlin, adjective, unpleasantly sentimental. With their Maudlin for Magdalene, and their Bedlam for Bethlehem, the English may justly boast themselves the greatest of revisers.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · MAGDALENE

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MINISTER: An agent of a higher power with a lower responsibility. In diplomacy an officer sent into a foreign country as the visible embodiment of his sovereign's hostility. His principal qualification is a degree of plausible inveracity next below that of an ambassador.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · MINISTER

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CALAMITY: A more than commonly plain and unmistakable reminder that the affairs of this life are not of our own ordering. Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · CALAMITY

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RAREBIT: A Welsh rabbit, in the speech of the humorless, who point out that it is not a rabbit. To whom it may be solemnly explained that the comestible known as toad-in-a-hole is really not a toad, and that riz-de-veau a la financiere is not the smile of a calf prepared after the recipe of a she banker.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · RAREBIT

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CLIO: One of the nine Muses. Clio's function was to preside over history—which she did with great dignity, many of the prominent citizens of Athens occupying seats on the platform, the meetings being addressed by Messrs. Xenophon, Herodotus and other popular speakers.

Ambrose Bierce · Il dizionario del diavolo · The Devil’s Dictionary · CLIO

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